It's a Small World

A name like mine, the English translation of which has been rumored to mean "woman chaser," means that I'm rarely mistaken for someone else. I do not get calls for someone else with the same name. I do not get pizzas delivered to me mistakenly because the people down the street have a name one letter off of mine (although I've considered changing my name for just this sort of opportunity). And I do not get prescriptions meant for someone else because our names looked so much alike. I DO have to spell my name repeatedly to people who can't quite wrap their mind around the idea that not everyone is named Smith or Jones.

All of which means that I was not all that surprised when I recently found a piece of mail in my box addressed to my family with the name misspelled by two letters. While I am not usually confused for someone else, my name is frequently misspelled, so I didn't think much of it. But I did look at the envelope more closely. It was clearly a Christmas card. Who was sending me a Christmas card but couldn't manage to spell my name correctly? The return address was a name I didn't recognize, but it was in the town in which I was born in New Jersey, so perhaps it was a family member who had married into a name that didn't immediately ring a bell. Despite the fact that I'm horrible about sending out Christmas cards, amazingly enough, I continue to receive some, even from family that I don't often see. But wouldn't you think a family member would know how to spell my name? I squinted at the envelope. Look at that.The apartment number was one digit off as well. These folks must really have been in a hurry to get out their Christmas cards.

I threw the envelope in my bag and headed into my apartment. My bag being something of a black hole, I didn't see or think about it again for several days. When the weekend arrived, and I began pulling apart all of the items I'd thrown in there during the week, I once again peered at the envelope. Finally curious enough to actually open it, I found one of those photo-cards with holiday greetings from a family that appeared to be made up of a couple and their young daughter. Cute. But I still didn't know who these people were.   Now, the older I get, the worse my memory is getting, and I'm lucky I can remember where to go home each day. The name was almost mine. The apartment number was only one digit off. And it was in my mailbox. Was it possible that this card wasn't meant for me?

Because anything worth knowing can be found on Google, I decided to Google the name as written on the envelope, along with "Gainesville, Florida," and see if I could find any evidence that someone by that exact name did exist.  And, indeed, they did. It seemed that there was a couple with that last name here in Gainesville, although every reference to an address that turned up was on the other side of town. Still, it was awfully coincidental. Even more interesting, the man was a customer service manager with Publix, which made me laugh, since we'd been having great discussion about having someone representing Publix's excellent customer service philosophy speak at our upcoming Staff Development Day. Maybe this was a sign. 

I marveled at the way all of this came together and considered the evidence. Let me get this straight. Someone with a name just a few letters off of my extremely usual moniker lived in the apartment across the breezeway from mine. In the city in Florida to which I moved only nine months ago. And knows people in the small New Jersey town in which I was born. Does exactly the job that my co-workers were saying needs to be covered at a work function. It couldn't be more obvious that I needed to meet these people. Now, I quite value my alone time and am careful about when I choose to increase the circle of people around me. Plus, I don't usually know my neighbors. Not that I don't want to, really, but then they want to start borrowing a cup of sugar and eggs, and, well...I don't cook.

But I was beginning to feel the need to make an exception. I just don't come across people with a similar name to mine very often, and certainly not one with connections to to my hometown (even if I did only live there for the first six months of my life). I wanted to know these people. In fact, I was sort of excited about meeting my neighbors. Maybe they even knew people that my family knew. Their friends on the Christmas card looked nice enough, anyway.

And then I remembered. Just a couple of weeks ago, I'd noticed that the apartment complex management was updating that apartment. The door stood wide open for two days while they hauled in the new kitchen cabinets and sink from the front lawn (thank goodness, as I was really cranky about the kitchen sink laying out on the grass like this was a junk yard). Evidently, the last residents had moved out, and they were updating before new people moved in. I wouldn't know, what with never really meeting the previous residents and all. But it seemed a reasonable assessment. At the time, I only noticed this in relation to the fact that I was still living in an apartment needing upgrading while the one across the breezeway was getting a face life. I could leave for two days, if that's all it took. But now, I felt disappointed, realizing that my chance to know the people who could be distant cousins had passed. There would be no exclamations of delight over how close our name were. No "do you know...'s?" over people in New Jersey that we might have in common (okay, since I lived there as a baby and haven't been back in more years than I like to count, this was unlikely, but one can hope). No offers to come speak at my library's training day. For free. Despondent, I set the envelope back down. So much for a reunion.

I am amazed at how many connections we have to one another that we don't even know about. My dad's cousin married a boy who used to play with my mom when they were kids. A friend has been babysitting for the daughter of one of my favorite authors. The person running the volunteer program with which I occasionally help out used to run a

similar program back in Raleigh and knew a good friend of mine. Ferris Bueller's sister Jeannie ran into people all over town who, it turned out, knew her brother and were greatly impacted by his supposed illness. You never know when an unexpected network gets a little bigger. Or, could get a little bigger if people just wouldn't move before you go introduce yourself. As Ferris said, life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

The Never List by Koethi Zan

Ten years ago Sarah and her best friend were abducted and imprisoned in a cellar already containing two other victims. Now, Sarah lives with the guilt of having escaped when Jennifer didn’t. News that the convicted abductor may be released prompts Sarah to contact the other survivors and set out on a search she hopes will lead to information about the whereabouts of Jennifer’s body but may lead her right into a trap.

This book scared me straight out of my pants! Fair warning, it turned out to be something of a difficult read, not because it was terribly graphic, but because the author was so good at describing just enough for your imagination to take over and create some very dark places. The first half or so of the book is suspenseful, building relationships and understanding of the Sarah and the other victims. But as the Sarah starts to put the pieces together, surprises fall one right after the other…into a black hole that will make the calmest of readers feel chills.

My one small issue is that, despite the fact that Sarah and Jennifer had always been overly cautious, even creating a “never list” of things they would never do to ensure they stayed safe, Sarah continued to put herself in dangerous situations. I’m not sure someone who’d been through what she had would do that, but then, who knows what anyone would do after having been abducted and tortured.

The Never List is a creepy thriller that will have readers reading all night…and wishing there was daylight.

It's Better to Be Kind Than to Be Right

While I first read this phrase as the life philosophy of Pat Peoples, protagonist of one of the most perfect novels of our times, The Silver Linings Playbook, it turns out, someone said it long before Pat (or his creator, Matthew Quick). Just who, I'm not really sure. Seriously, if Google or Wikipedia can't give me the answer, is it really worth knowing? But getting back to the point, this may just be one of the wisest expressions I've ever heard.

The Google search did help me narrow down the full quote:

“Sometimes it’s better to be kind than right. We don't need a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart who listens.” - See more at: http://familyshare.com/it-is-better-to-be-kind-than-right#sthash.re00giRQ.dpuf

Sometimes its better to be kind than right. We don't need a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart who listens.

But here's what I've recently been noticing. It's really easy to insist we're right. It's not so easy (or common) to be kind. How many of us wave the car across from us into the parking spot we were waiting for? Or let the lady behind us in line at the grocery store with two young children go first? Or stayed late at work to help a colleague or finish an important project, even though you were off the clock? I admit it...I really like to be right. But I really want to be kind. So I started paying attention to instances of both, and I saw some really interesting things. 

On a recent episode of the television show Shark Tank (yeah, yeah, I've seen a few episodes), I watched an extraordinary measure of kindness. A simple Florida farmer asked for funds to continue making a product that keeps trees moist, much needed by Florida tree growers. His only goal was to continue following the example set by his father and helping others save their farms, only charging enough money to make $1 off each item (no, there are no zeros after that 1, it's seriously $1). After being told by one shark that he couldn't make enough money with that kind of business plan, guest shark John Paul DeJoria, co-founder of Paul Mitchell hair products, gave him everything he asked for. He told him he admired his work and desire to be good to his fellow farmers, and while he didn't say so, he clearly was supporting kindness over making money. Just a few days later, I watched my first and last episode of Extreme Cheapskates (hey, there was nothing else on). I watched someone explain that he didn't want to have to pay a water bill, so he went to the laundry mat. Oh, not to do his laundry for only a couple of dollars, but to ask people to let him put his laundry in with theirs. Is that right? Well, a few people were kind enough to say "yes." I also saw a lady paint her baby's nursery by going from paint store to paint store asking for free samples (which normally were $3). But she didn't think she should have to pay for them. I'm pretty sure that's not right. But, again, people were kind.
 
One library I worked at subscribed to the view that we believe what our customers tell us, so if they owed fines or lost material charges, and they explained that they didn't (for whatever reason), staff is empowered to waive the charges if they see fit. So the organization acknowledged and accepted that, sometimes, we were right and the customer owed us, but under certain circumstances, it was okay to chose to be kind instead. Were we taken advantage of? Were there times when we were right and the customer was wrong and they were not made to take responsibility? Yes, indeed. But it can be rather freeing to know you can decide to be kind instead of right. Sometimes.

I now drive to work through a downtown area in which it seems there are more lights and crosswalks than there are people. This tends to result in irritable drivers. At least for this driver. The other day, I watched someone start to cross the street, not at a crosswalk, and not with a light. Fortunately for her, the person in the car in front of me was paying attention. Just as the pedestrian noticed a car coming and started to turn back, the car stopped, and the driver waved the pedestrian on. Could he have kept driving, probably in a hurry from all those lights, and made the pedestrian wait? Yes, the pedestrian saw him in time. Should he have had to stop when someone was trying to cross the street without a crosswalk and any kind of light? I don't think so. But he did. He was just a nice guy doing the kind thing. 

There are bigger examples, too. People are starting to donate to relief efforts in the Philippines. Maybe even the same people who donated after Hurricane Katrina or the earthquake in Haiti. They certainly don't have to. They earned their money, and no one's going to make them give it away (except, perhaps, the Tax Man). But sometimes, we do choose to be kind to one another. Let's don't get into a discussion of Obamacare, but I would like to point out that it is another huge example of an attempt at kindness. The government may or may not owe its citizens health care--remember, I promised we weren't going to discuss this--but it's trying awfully hard to offer a human kindness.

I was at dinner with a group recently, and, bless her heart, that waitress was having a bad night. Dinner was delayed. And delayed some more. The waitress apologize several times, yet, still no dinner. Would we have been within our rights to complain? Ask for the owner? Tip badly? Probably. Did we? No. It felt a lot better to say "no problem" and laugh at how busy it was. We could have made her night even worse than it was, and instead, maybe we made it a little easier.

This philosophy seems to be the foundation for good customer service. Every day, customers ask for things that are against established rules and policies. I know it's past 30 days, but can't I return this anyway? I know I was overdrawn, but look, here's a check, can't you refund the fee you charged? I know your chef did all the same work to make this dish, but it turns out not to be what I wanted, can't you make me something else and not charge me for it? In the interest of making the customer happy, people make exceptions every day, setting aside rules, even though they're technically in the right, and just doing what's being asked. The Bible says not to turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Seems like it's pretty much saying to be kind rather than right. 

As the second half of this quote indicates, sometimes, it's a matter of just shutting up (maybe that's why I've had trouble with this in the past). It doesn't matter how smart you are, or whether or not you're correct. It might just be more important to listen and hear what someone else needs. Being kind is about letting someone else be right.

This all makes it sound like it's easy. It's not. Or maybe that's just me. It's hard to give in or give up, at least, if you're going to view it as giving in or giving up (maybe it starts by not viewing it that way). And I'm not saying you shouldn't fight for what's owed to you. If you don't stand up for your rights, well, who will? But here's what's really great about being kind. Sometimes, being kind IS the right thing.
 
 

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

Love love love. Happy happy happy. 

My blog is not exactly read far and wide, yet I'd bet money that at least half of you have read Fangirl. If you have--great. Spend a moment revisiting why you loved it (and you know you did). For those who haven't--let me explain why you must.

There’s so much to love about this novel that it’s hard to know where to start. Never mind. I know where to start. How much do we love Rainbow Rowell? And why? For multiple reasons really, but let’s start with the one where she isn’t writing the same book over and over again. Fangirl is her third novel, and it’s equally as distinct as each of the others. Don’t put Rainbow in a box.

We meet Cather (known as Cath to her everyone except Levi, the immeasurably irritating and constantly cheerful boyfriend of her roommate) just as she’s entering her freshman year of college. Her twin sister pretty much has said “see ya” and deserted Cath in favor of a new best friend. Cath would just as soon stay in her room and write fan fiction about a magician named Simon with striking resemblances to Harry Potter, but this is not to be. Over the course of the next year, she finds that it’s not possible to isolate herself in Simon’s world but that she must build one of her own. 

I felt a real kinship with Cath, as we share that quality of finding it difficult to create a life, easier to play a part in someone else’s, but ideal to sometimes remain without one. We all have to learn the lesson that this is not realistic, or even desirable, so watching Cath do so is extraordinarily familiar. Her fan fiction is her comfort zone, a place where she’s been extraordinarily successful, but when the people around her begin forcing her to come out and play, she discovers the experience more familiar than she thought. As her writing professor tells her, you don’t have to create a new world from scratch. Start with something real,” Professor Piper tells her. “Start there and see what happens. You can keep it true, or you can let it turn into something else—you can add magic—but give yourself a starting point…Everything starts with a little truth, then I spin my webs around it…I don’t start with nothing.” Levi, fast becoming not just her roommate’s boyfriend but a true friend, agrees. “Tim Burton didn’t come up with Batman. Peter Jackson didn’t write Lord of the Rings.” Cath is reluctant to accept this. “In the right light, you are such a nerd.” (Taking a thoughtful topic and making the reader laugh out loud is another reason we love Rainbow). But she eventually accepts the fact that she does have something of her own to offer and that it might be possible to merge her world into a bigger one.

Cath reminds me of Harriet the Spy, who also had to learn that you cannot get through life without the people around you. I reacted especially strongly to Cath’s relationship with her sister, Wren (here I thought the name Cather was a fabulously literary name honoring the great Willa Cather; turns out, her mother wasn’t expecting twins and took the lazy way out by naming one Cather and the other Wren). Wren and Cather had been close all their lives, yet, Wren uses college, as do many people, to try out her new independence and make new friends, developing interests of her own (and some destructive ones, at that), leaving Cather behind with Simon. This made me really angry, and I thought Cather let her get away with way too much. But the fact that the friendship between the twins prompted me to want to strangle them both only speaks to Rainbow’s ability to put me smack dab in the middle of the story. I was so upset for Cath because she couldn’t seem to be that upset for herself.

No matter where Cath turns, she continues to be faced with relationships that eventually teach her she cannot continue to escape. Her father, a good guy who essentially raised the girls on his own after their mother left them on September 11 (yes, THAT September 11), has his own problems and could use some taking care of. Cath jumps at the opportunity to do this, but as any good parent would, he refuses to let her make his life hers. He gives Wren an ultimatum that helps Cath to see the importance of maintaining a relationship without merging into one life. Cath refuses to explore a relationship with her mother, with whom Wren has begun talking after years of no communication, yet she’s forced to recognize that she will always have some kind of connection to her mother when she unexpectedly finds them in the same room together. A writing partner forces Cath to find a line between her work and that of her partner's, a clever analogy for the line between Cath’s world and that of those around her. Then there’s Reagan, Cath’s roommate, who turns out to be quite different that the impression she made on Cath when they first met. Yeah, my first impressions are never right either. And Levi, oh, Levi. Rainbow has a way of making me just want to reach out and hug her characters. While I think Cath and Wren’s relationship is the one that changes most over the course of the novel, it’s her relationship with Levi that brings out the greatest change in Cath. He continues to reappear, something like a Jack in the Box, no matter how many times she tries to convince him to leave her writing for Simon. Is it possible that he’s inserted himself permanently in her world? How did that happen?

You can’t discuss Fangirl without discussing Simon Snow, the hero of a series of books about a boy attending the Watford School of Magicks. Rainbow sprinkles excerpts from the fictitious Simon Snow series as well as from Cath’s fan fiction about Simon throughout the novel, demonstrating (among other things) that Cath and Simon’s worlds, at least at the beginning of the novel, are so intertwined that they cannot be separated. Here’s the thing…I feel like I need to go back and read all these excerpts again in order to truly understand their impact on Cath and their role in the story Rainbow’s trying to tell about Cath. There are definite parallels between Simon’s story and Cath’s, and I think I’d need to spend more time there to really see them. Accept them for a fun diversion or as a window into Cath’s universe…they’re probably both.

All of this is to say that it’s Rainbow’s characters and her ability to bring out such emotion in my reading of them that has made me such a fan of hers. I can touch them (okay, not really, but it feels like I can). They become friends. Throughout Fangirl, I found myself wanting to stand up to and for Cath, feeling her pain and being excited for the new life she was gaining. And this is why we love Rainbow Rowell.

Snip and Tuck

"I thought they said tutored!"

This is the phrase my friend Vicki uses when she imagines what a cat is thinking after waking up to discover he's been neutered. It's as good a guess as any. It's not likely to be something like "Oh, thank God!" or "It's about time!" Yet, getting spayed or neutered is probably one of the best thing to happen in a cat's life.  

I recently began volunteering with a group called Operation Catnip that neuters and vaccinates feral and occasionally friendly stray cats. These cats are nobody's pets. They arrive at the vet school in the humane traps in which they were captured and probably will be released again in the same location. This is a Trap Neuter and Release program, considered part of a "no-kill" philosophy, in which the main object is to reduce the number of cats out there reproducing at an unbelievable rate. Now, believe it or not, TNR programs are somewhat controversial--we'll come back to that in a minute. For right now, let's focus on the part where there are incredibly generous people out there who serve as "colony caretakers," doing their best to make sure colonies of feral cats have enough food and are as safe as possible. That being a hard job, they'd like to do it for as few feral cats as possible, so trapping these guys and getting them neutered so that there will be no little ones to continue the tradition is an important part of the job. Through a combination of veterinarians, vet students, and volunteers all donating their time, feral cats are quickly being neutered and the feral cat population is being reduced.

But let me back up a moment. The last thing I need at the moment is any more cats--the one I've got is quite happy being the only princess in the house--so what in the world am I doing with these people? And their cats? Wanting to find a way to get involved in my new city, I began exploring groups with which I might be able to volunteer. Since I've got experience working with cats and know more than the average person about kitty health and medicine, it seemed logical to find a cat rescue organization of some kind with which to spend my time. Also, I just like cats. Since the last time I worked with a cat rescue work I ended up with five cats living at my house and refusing to leave ("Oh, we're just way too comfortable here," I could practically hear them say), I chose Operation Catnip as the group offering minimal opportunities to bring a new cat home. Feral cats, by definition, are essentially wild, and more importantly, have no interest in sitting in my lap while we read or watch a movie together. Working with Operation Catnip is the perfect solution and is Sasha approved.

So exactly what am I doing with them? It's sure not feeding a feral colony. I'm pretty sure they don't have a key card to get into my gated community. And it's not transporting. Please. I just got away from driving a minimum of 68 miles every day just to get to work. Do you really think I'm going to offer to play James the Chauffeur to some cats I don't even know? Instead, I'm volunteering at the monthly clinic at which many of the neuters take place (some take place during the course of the month depending on availability of vets and vet students). Hundreds of cats are brought to the vet school on a Sunday morning to be snipped and tucked, vaccinated, and have their ear tipped (it indicates to others down the road that the cat has already been neutered so it doesn't have to go through the stress of being trapped again). They are picked up by their caretakers (or, at least, someone who was willing to trap them long enough to be neutered) in the afternoon and returned to their colonies. It is hoped that they will live out their lives safely and without any more contributions to the overpopulation problem.

Perhaps you're confused at the reference to Sunday mornings. Anyone who knows me knows that they will not find me anywhere but under the covers on a Sunday morning. No, I seem to be settling into an afternoon schedule, primarily monitoring cats completing surgery to ensure they're coming out from under the anesthesia without a problem. It's rare, but occasionally someone has a bad reaction, so it's important to watch these guys as they recover so that they really do leave better off than when they came in. It's interesting to see the different reactions. Kittens, who you might think would return to their normal personalities fastest, what with being young, healthy, and generally quite busy, often take the longest to wake up. Their little lungs can't handle the anesthesia as well, so they stay groggy longer. Some cats will wake up so confused and disoriented that they actually hurt themselves thrashing around the trap (which they're returned immediately after surgery, before they've even woken). Then there are tummy troubles and respiratory issues that can pop up. All this is why volunteer monitors are needed. Having us watch the kitties wake and become alert allows the vet students and veterinarians to focus on the surgeries and any true issues that come up. Today, I began singing to the group I was monitoring (one tabby was WAY too interested in this), and a passing vet student commented "You know, that's probably the kindest thing anyone's ever going to do for these guys." I disagree. Getting them neutered surpasses my soggy soprano by far. But I leave knowing I've contributed to an effort to keep any more cats coming into the world who are likely to experience pain and suffering in a difficult and sometimes destructive life.

Not everyone feels this way about TNR programs. Opponents of such programs believe that it supports the lifespan of the feral colonies that are responsible for the deaths of many native species from birds to mammals and reptiles and other indigenous wildlife. They believe it does not really solve the problem and that it can in fact encourage illegal dumping of unwanted cats in areas known to be monitored by caretakers. Let me stop here and say I am no expert on this subject. There's some really great stuff on the internet about TNR programs, and I hope you'll take some time to at least read the Wikipedia article about it and form your own opinion. But I've seen too many cats in need of homes and heard too many stories about cats being euthanized simply for existing not to advocate for this kind of program. May I tell you why? The thing is, opponents are not wrong in their concern about wildlife and destruction caused by feral cats. However, it seems to me that the best way to resolve this problem is to reduce the number of feral cats. TNR programs certainly are not the only way to do this. Should you care to, you can read a lot about relocation efforts (moving colonies to places where they are less detrimental) and even deliberate eradication (which is exactly what it sounds like). But studies are showing that these methods are not nearly as effective at reducing the feral cat population as TNR programs. Move a colony somewhere else (we won't even discuss eradication), and you've taken away its knowledge of food sources, safe havens, and security, very possibly bringing on a difficult and painful death.
The problems feral and stray cats cause will not go away until their population does, and TNR makes that happen in a safe, effective, and humane way.

In my ideal world, there would be SO many fewer cats, particularly those forced to fend on their own, living uncomfortable lives and causing destruction to other animal lives. Instead, it would be rare to find cats living on their own in the wild. People will adopt from a shelter. Shelters will all be "no-kill" because they will not have to euthanize for lack of space. Owners will ensure their animals are spayed and neutered so that there will be no unexpected surprises and little lives about which to make difficult choices. Oh, and as a slight aside, we will not de-claw them and take away their main defense if they ever ARE forced to take care of themselves. We domesticated these animals. We must now take responsibility for ensuring they are safe and cared for...and that there aren't more of them than we can do that for.

Authors Are My Rock Stars

The lobby of the Random House offices

Last month, I was lucky enough to get to attend Book Expo America in New York City. For those of you who might not be addicted to books, BEA is a conference of what, at one time, was primarily booksellers and publishers but has come to include librarians, educators, and other supporters of reading in its various forms. Now, if you couldn't care less about books and the people who write them, stop reading, because you're just not going to get this at all. Someone like me getting to go to a conference like this is the equivalent of going backstage at a concert featuring all your favorite musicians with a  bunch of other people who love them as much as you do.

Rainbow Rowell signing autographs

Logic dictates that I would detail this adventure in chronological order, but not being particularly logical, I'm going to start with the highlight of my trip, which was running into Rainbow Rowell in an aisle between booths. Not literally, of course. If I did that, I surely wouldn't be sharing it with you here. No, I caught sight of her as I was walking through the hoards of people and was forced to stop and gush. (I'd like to say that I wasn't being literal here either, but I'd be lying.) Even if you love reading, you might not know who Rainbow Rowell is, but be patient, you will. For now, let's just say she's my current fave author, and so finding myself in conversation with her, live and in-person, is something akin to getting to shake the hand of the President. Rainbow has written two young adult novels and an adult novel, none of which resemble any of the others, and her description of her fourth novel (which will be for adults) sounds so intriguing that I'm already counting the days until I can get an advance copy. She was absolutely as delightful as any of her readers would expect, and she politely overlooked my excessive enthusiasm for the positive feedback about her books. I ran into her the next day (again, not literally) at her publisher's booth, where she was signing copies of her upcoming book, called Fangirl (Huh. Coincidence, that.) Rainbow was charming and gracious and seemed genuinely glad to hear how much her books are being enjoyed. It could only have been more perfect if I'd managed to get a picture of us together. Don't think I didn't consider it.

Which brings me back to the beginning of the trip, which began with a sort of "pre-BEA event" known as Library Journal's Day of Dialog (as in, dialog about all things libraries). It

Caleb Crain, Allan Gurganus, Al Lamanda, Richard North Patterson, and Amy Tan

was thrilling to be in the same room with authors like Richard Dawkins, Richard North Patterson, and Amy Tan. But just as exciting was the opportunity to listen to other librarians speak to current issues in librarianship, from self-publishing to floating collections (once again, if you're not a book lover or librarian, you really should consider a different choice of blogs for your reading material). I listened to a fabulous panel of experienced librarians talking about how their libraries deal with the same issues my library deals with. These are movers and shakers in my world, so while they might not be writing my favorite books, librarians, too, are my rock stars. I also got to put faces to many names I'd known online, libraries whose reviews I've read and libraries I've admired. I felt like I should have brought an autograph book. I would have put it to use immediately, as I got to meet Allan Gurganus (The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All), a North Carolina author who has his first novel in ten years about to come out. It felt a little like home.

That night was the first of several meals at which the company was so spectacular that it was easy to forget I was eating hotel food. My first engagement was the second annual BEA Children's Librarians Dinner cohosted by Association of American Publishers and School

Kendare Blake; not a great pic, but live and in person all the same

Library Journal and featuring Susan Cooper, Jack Gantos, Jonathan Stroud, Cynthia Voigt, and Kendare Blake. "I got into the children's librarian's dinner! I get to meet Kendare Blake!" I enthused to a friend in an email, as we are both huge fans of her first novel, Anna Dressed in Blood. "I think it's funny that you're going to be in a room full of award-winning authors, and you're most excited about the least known of them," she said drily in a responding email. Not to be deterred from my brush with greatness, I made my way to the dinner, poured myself a glass of wine (hotel food is always better with wine), and sat back to listen. It was really fun to get to hear her talk in person, and I emailed the above picture to my co-fan from the dinner table. Afterwards, I stood in line to meet her and tell her how much I enjoyed her work. I walked out with my bag of advance copies (the first of many bags of advance copies I would get over the next few days) and began shaking my hands with the excitement of having shook the hand of Kendare Blake. And while all the speakers were wonderful, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how much I enjoyed listening to Jack Gantos. The renowned children's author, describing his long and circuitous route to getting published, offhandedly mentioned that his jail sentence was nothing compared to getting a book published. He looked slightly confused at our laughter, giving us a "I don't understand" expression, because he had indeed spent time in jail for transporting drugs into the United States. He even confided to us that he'd buried a stash in Central Park. Some people still think he was kidding. I became so entranced and fascinated that I'm now reading his account of that experience.

But that was just the beginning. Did I mention that I was there with a friend from my old library? Setting aside the whole Rainbow Rowell thing, getting to see her was truly a highlight of the trip. We didn't stop talking the entire time (that might just have been me). Janet and I set started out the conference with, what else?, an author breakfast. Sponsored by Random House and held in their offices, this morning we would breathe the same air as authors Jo Baker (Longbourn), Marisha Pessl (Special Topics in Calamity

Jamie Ford; not taken by me :-(

Physics), Janice Clark (The Rathbones), Elizabeth Silver (The Execution of Noa P. Singleton), and Jamie Ford. Here's what you need to know about Jamie Ford. He wrote Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet and has a new novel coming out called Songs of Willow Frost, he wrote a great blog entry about his time at BEA, he's half-Chinese, he's totally charming, and he's hilarious. The accompanying picture is one of the few I didn't take myself, but you have to agree with me that it would have been a crime not to include a picture of this adorable guy in my blog entry. In a stroke of serendipity, they had to make my name card at the last minute and ended up using the back of a duplicate card for none other than the collection development manager of another library in North Carolina who I was hoping to catch up with. She was indeed there, so somewhere between the food and Jamie, we caught up a little bit.

All this, and we hadn't even actually made it to BEA yet. Thanks to the VIP passes we were lucky enough to land (thank you, thank you!), we zipped right through registration and made our way onto the exhibit hall. It's hard to know where to look in a place like this. It's loud, crowded, bright, and totally overwhelming. And wonderful. I could spend a long time talking about the vendors I stopped to talk to, the conversations I had on the floor with librarians and authors alike (insert Rainbow incident here), and the many, MANY galleys I hauled around on my back until I could unload them into a box for shipping back to my library. I'll spare you those details (oh, it might be too late for that). I do have to say that my one regret is that I was so caught up that I neglected to make it to Library Family Feud, which I understand is hilarious. 

Louise Penny

Bill Bryson

The next notable event, naturally, revolved around yet another an author/food event, a luncheon again sponsored by AAP.  This time we munched (what was actually a pretty good sandwich) while listening to such fantastic authors as Bill Bryson, Louise Penny (who knew she was so funny?), Lee Smith, Jayne Anne Phillips, and Koethi Zan (Koethi is a debut author, but the others have written too much to try to name here). These folks were absolutely wonderful speakers, and they genuinely seemed pleased to have a roomful of librarians and other book lovers celebrating them and their work. I was honored to get a spot at the NetGalley table (thanks Robin B.!), a table reserved for librarians participating in online discussions of upcoming books for which they've read the galleys. Lee Smith is from the part of North Carolina from which I recently moved, but I never tire of hearing her speak. I made a point to go introduce myself after the luncheon, and I was pleased to have another lovely conversation with a rock star author.

It was at this point that I could have used a nap, but Janet, being the organized one in the pair, had arranged appointments with the library marketing reps for most of the major publishers. I have to say that I was incredibly grateful to get a chance to meet with these folks. They were gracious, helpful, and interested in our perspective on what libraries and readers are looking for. Once again, I was meeting people who I'd only known by name, movers and shakers in my world, and it was fantastic to get to share information with them.

Fast forward a bit, as much of the next day or so looked quite a bit the same with the exception being that Janet had an even longer and lovelier conversation with Lee Smith in the lobby of our hotel. Okay so this is the one other picture I didn't take myself, but it's such a great one that I have to include it.

Janet and author Lee Smith

One of the fun things about such an event is sharing it with other book-lovers. We spent a

Jeffrey Deaver

good bit of time tracking down advance reader copies and other swag for friends and colleagues back home. I decided to go after an author signing by Jeffrey Deaver, as he now lives in Chapel Hill (oh, how I miss you!) and is a favorite of a librarian friend of mine. If you've ever seen the back cover of one of his books, you know that he's, well, as creepy looking as his books. But it turns out that he's really quite normal in real life, and he showered his fans with smiles as he signed his most recent release (turns out the advance copy of his upcoming novel wasn't ready yet). Authors are normal people, too. 

Tracy and Chelsea: Separated at Birth?

While Chelsea Handler probably isn't the first person who comes to mind when you think of your favorite authors, she has indeed written some very funny books and was in attendance at BEA in advance of another hilarious collection of true and not-so-true tales. Like Jeffrey Deaver, the ARC of her book was not ready in time for the event, so the creative response of her publisher was to offer pictures with Chelsea. Gee, if I'd known that, I would have prepared better.

There would be one other author rock star sighting before my time in New York was over. On the last morning of the conference, we took a cab to the conference center and stepped out, gathering our bags in haphazard fashion, finally closing the door and turning around only to find ourselves looking straight at Neil Gaiman. Alone. All by himself. Standing on the sidewalk with the wind blowing his hair around. Oh my God. Oh my God. Hands full, I began digging in my bag for my camera phone. Why do I not walk around with that in my hand? By the time I'd dropped my stuff, found my phone, opened it to the camera, and aimed, his agent/publisher/handler had arrived, and he was being scurried away quickly. Which is why the photo you see here is of them walking away. Janet got much better pics when she saw him speak later in the day. But the photo of the back of his head is mine, all mine, and you can't take that away from me.

Janet's pic, if you really need to see his face

Neil Gaiman's back

  










 


There was one author interaction that I found puzzling. Most of those food events I went to were specifically for librarians, so the authors spoke to the things they loved about librarians and libraries. One author, however, had the group rolling its eyes a bit with her description of libraries. She was, no doubt, trying to be express her appreciation for the many wonderful things libraries offer, when she described libraries as quiet places of respite. We looked at each other, trying to hide our smiles. Had she BEEN in a library recently? Libraries continue to be extraordinary places, but in today's world, quiet, they are not. This author may be a fantastic writer, but she clearly has not stepped foot in a public library full of computer users with cell phones, children's programming, reader's advisory interactions, and teen spaces. Not recently, anyway.

And so it was finally time to leave New York. It was extraordinarily exciting to have all of these authors, whose writing I love from afar, surrounding me on all sides in one huge, packed conference floor. The last generation had Woodstock. Mine has BEA.

Sasha's Day

Crap. The alarm's going off. Now she's going to start moving around, and I'm going to have to change my spot. Wait, she's going back to sleep for a few more minutes. Fine, be late to work. See if I care. I can out-sleep you any day.

Oh, that was a good stretch. Now that she's gotten up, I'm just going to scoot over into the warm spot she left. No need to let it cool down. Wait, it sounds like she's pouring fresh food into my bowl. Why does she make me get down to eat breakfast? Would it not be just as easy to pour that food up here where I already am? Now I have to climb all the way down the stairs and go eat out of a bowl like a dog. Do I look like a dog? 

I do love to drink out of my water bowl, though. This new waterfall thing is just like the bathroom sink I used to be able to drink out of. Better even, since it's at my height. As long as she keeps it full, we'll be fine. I wish I could figure out how to drink out of it without getting water all over my mouth. Let me just shake my head a few times and get the water onto the walls and off my whiskers. There, that's better.

She's not moving fast enough. I'd better go sit by the door so she remembers where it is. I don't understand why it takes her so long to get ready. I just lick my coat a few times and call it done.

Thank goodness. Finally, I can go back to bed. Wait, I forgot I don't have to wait for late morning before any light comes through the window. Now that we're in Florida, there's light all the time. There's that perfect spot on the floor next to the bed where the light is coming in directly from the window. I think I'll just stop here for a while before getting back up into bed.

Ugh. I hate that climb up onto the bed. At least now I have my choice of spots. I don't know why she stays up here a the top of the bed and doesn't even cover her head with all these sheets and blankets. I'm climbing way down underneath the comforter to the end of the bed. I just need to make sure I make a noticeable lump so she can find me when she gets home.

Geez, she's loud. What do you mean, where am I? Where am I almost EVERY day? Right here under the comforter. I'll just wiggle a little bit and let her know I heard her, but I'm not sure I'm coming out yet. Well, okay, I guess I'm a little lonely. I'll just go greet her. But I'm going to be just as loud as she is. I still don't know why she asks me how my day was. Do you really think one day in my life looks any different from another? I'm just going to yell a little louder and see if she'll get out the Fancy Feast. Maybe if I look pointedly at the pantry long enough, she'll get a clue. 

Okay, she's either not terribly bright, or she's deliberately ignoring me. I want my egg carton full of Fancy Feast! Alright, I'm pulling out the big guns. Let me just climb up into her lap and see how fast she runs for the Fancy Feast. Oh, even better, she's got the laptop out. I'll just snuggle up on the laptop. She'll get so irritated that she'll get me that Fancy Feast before the next commercial is out. Ha! I knew it would work. At least I've gotten faster at this than I used to be. I finally figured out that all I have to do is flip- the egg carton over, and all the Fancy Feast pieces are on the floor. Crack for cats. Meow.

What now? She's coming at me with that plastic syringe again to stick in my mouth. Is this really necessary? It's so humiliating. And it tastes bad. I'm only letting her get away with it because of the Fancy Feast.

Are we ever going to go back to bed? I think I'll just curl up on my head next to her on the couch. Then I won't miss it when it's time to get up. Look, and here are some socks I can sit on. One more thing that can smell a little more like me.

What happened? It's dark. Did she go to bed without me? How did that happen? Let me just make a quick stop at the potty before I climb back up there. I'd better scratch a few more times just to be sure there's plenty of dust in the air and no one can smell anything. Litter dust is so much better. 

Oh, good, she's on her back. Let me just knead a little and push everything around to make the softest sleeping spot on her tummy. There we go. Backside up by her face, looking straight out to the end of the bed. Perfect. What a lovely day.

Drive-Through Window

All restaurants are drive-through if you try hard enough --unknown

One of the many tasks that must be undertaken when relocating is to renew your driver's license. Sadly, they do not care that the man who took your last driver's license photo got you to laugh at just the right moment so that your current picture has you smiling, your head tilted slightly, your eyes open. Or that you were having a good hair day. Or that you finally remembered to put on lipstick before stepping in front of the camera. Nor do they care that you have not entirely detached from your old locale and would just as soon keep one last remnant of the address you had for thirteen years. They also do not care that you have a million and one other things to be doing during their convenient hours of 8 to 5 Monday through Friday. Just so you know. No, your new state requires you to go through it all again, and then they charge you $56.50 for the privilege. Even though you have a perfectly good license already that's hardly ever been used and practically right out of the shrinkrap.

So yesterday I put on my big girl panties and hauled myself over to the tax assessor's office to take care of this dreaded task, made even more daunting by the fact that it was a hot Florida afternoon, and my office is already a little on the warm side. The good news is that I only had to walk two blocks. Florida DMV, or at least Alachua County, has an agreement with the tax assessor's office to provide driver's license and car registration services, and much to my (albeit reluctant) satisfaction, the county administration building is just up the street from my work. Even better, I walked in to find that there was no line. At least this would be over with quickly. Or so I thought. That will teach me to think so much.

Let me stop here a moment to say that the folks at the Alachua County Tax Assessor's office are fabulous and offered excellent customer service. I truly went in expecting to find staff who didn't particularly want to be there and would be as cranky as the day was hot. I was delighted to find that this was one of the few times in my life when I was proven wrong. The events that followed are no reflection on the staff's efforts to assist me. I don't think.

I had not yet reached the check in desk when I was greeted by a cheery woman who appeared unnaturally tall. Being as short as I am, this is not an unusual occurrence, so I quickly dismissed it as unimportant. I might have stood on my toes slightly. "Welcome to Florida!" she clapped when she heard I had just moved her from out-of-state. I thought I was the only one who clapped when excited. Nevertheless, she seemed genuinely pleased that I was there, and I was feeling a bit like company come to call. She sent me over to a nearby counter where another clerk called out "Come on over!" I was starting to wonder if I should have brought a covered dish.

As I handed over my current license, a customer at the next station gathered her things and prepared to make her way to the exit, pausing to speak to my clerk. "Thank you so much, Holly, you were very helpful," she called on her way out. The clerk gave her a big grin, waved, and responded that she was glad to help. She continued waving until the woman was out of sight, then she leaned towards me conspiratorially.

"I don't know where she got that, 'cause my name's not Holly," she confided. 

This was fine by me. I didn't care what her name was as long as we got this done with minimal fuss and muss and a picture that wouldn't force me to accidentally lose my new license and need to have the whole thing done again with a new hairdo. Funny, this woman seemed rather tall, too. Do they just grow them big here in Florida?

I rustled my bag of paperwork and documents and said I hoped I had everything she'd need. "Oh, don't worry, we'll get you set in a jiffy," she assured me. The smile fell from her face a bit when she looked at my current license, which she was now holding in her hand. "Well, not too long, anyway," she amended. Florida has quite the complex system for getting driver's licenses and car registrations, made more difficult by the fact that, evidently, the folks in here Florida don't trust the folks up in North Carolina. They won't accept my NC license as valid ID. Ironic considering there's great discussion in Raleigh at the moment about just what kind of identification is necessary to vote. In any case, this necessitated my bringing my social security card, birth certificate, and several pieces of mail to prove that I am now living in their hot, dry, flat state. As though I would want a Florida driver's license for any other reason. I held my breath as she thumbed through my mail, finally putting it down on the counter and beginning to type.

I pulled out my wallet and laid my fingers on my debit card, expecting to be asked to cough up some funds for this little piece of plastic any minute. The request didn't come. Instead, after watching the person at the next counter explain that she's not responsible for the crack across the center of her license which is now preventing anyone from seeing the expiration date, I began drumming my fingers. It was warm in there, but then, I've found it to be warm about anywhere I go now that I'm in Florida. I knew things were not going well when my clerk, AKA Holly, leaned forward with her chin in her hand and stared at her computer screen. 

"Well, Hon," she sighed, "why don't you go ahead and take your vision test. We can do that while we wait."

Wait? Wait for what? Not wanting to slow the process down any further, I moved over to the machine that looked like binoculars on some kind of game station and read off the requested line. I was feeling rather proud until AKA Holly asked me to read the next smallest line. I blinked a couple of times but tried to sound more confident than I was as I rattled off the next row. Congratulations, I was told, I have 20/20 vision with my glasses. Well, of course I do, I thought. I paid a lot of money for that vision. And quite stylish vision, at that.

Holly continued to stare at her computer screen, but now she was making faces. Hoping to move things along somehow, I brightly asked "So, it doesn't like me, huh?" She smiled at me and apologized, saying that her computer was stuck in some way. At least we couldn't blame it on my picture, since we hadn't taken one yet.

It was when Holly called her colleague Nicole over (and I'm pretty sure Nicole was really her name) that I realized these folks were standing on a stage. That's what I needed in my life. A stage to stand on wherever I went. Holly and Nicole poked at the computer for a while before Nicole said "You're going to have to call Tallahassee." That sounded ominous.  Holly apologized again and went off to make her phone call.

Nicole and I chatted a bit before I asked if she knew where a Coke machine was. This was clearly going to require caffeine. "You want a Coke," she asked. "I"ll get you one." I began politely refusing, but I'll only protest a free Coke for so long, so eventually, I graciously accepted. Minutes later, Holly had returned, and I had a Coke in hand, though I was beginning to think that Coke was going to be my lunch. 

Holly was finally able to bring up a completed record for me. She began squinting at my current driver's license, then turned to squint at the computer screen. "Shoot. Tallahassee misspelled your middle name." Resisting the urge to say that a city can't spell or misspell anything, and that I highly doubted everyone in the city of Tallahassee had made this mistake, I took a bigger swig of Coke. "They spelled your middle name Genne--what in the world is that?" I silently asked the same question, since my middle name is Jeane. But I was glad for them to call me anything they wanted at this point.

Holly suggested we go ahead and take the picture, and since I was up for anything that would move this along, I moved over to the blue screen. Beginning to smile, Holly and I quickly realized that the purse of a woman standing nearby was blocking the camera. Ever helpful, Nicole gently tapped the woman on the shoulder and asked if she could move her purse. I suggested she could switch places with me if she liked, but no one else seemed to think this was a good idea. As it turns out, Holly is a pretty good photographer, and so a few minutes later, we had a decent snapshot that met with my approval. It still wasn't as good as my last one.

I finished my Coke as Holly went off to battle Tallahassee again and get my middle name changed. By now, my feet and back hurt a little, my lunch period was over, and I could only hope no one got too close to me lest they be able to tell I was sweating to beat the band. Holly returned, a big grin on he face, and reported that everything seemed to be in place. Her computer was still moving slowly, so I began doing leg lifts to occupy myself why she sent the license information to the printer. I was already sweating. I may as well burn a few calories while I'm at it. Finally, she held up her hands in a big victory sign and said "Alright, off to the printer! You're ready!" 

"Woo hoo!" I agreed, trying to look more enthusiastic than I felt. I was a not just a bit tired and cranky at this point, especially considering I didn't even want the thing, but the staff was so nice and trying so hard to get me out of there that it was hard to be upset. At least, that's what I thought until Holly turned to the central printer only to find that the top was off and a maintenance man covered in grease was standing nearby, scratching his head. I looked away. This was not going to be pretty, and I didn't want to see this train wreck.

The train wreck must have been a fairly small, quiet one in which Holly had a serious conversation with the maintenance man because a few minutes later, she was handing me my new license and asking me for my debit card. By this time, I was happy to fork over $56.50. Holly and Nicole thanked me several times for my patience, Holly adding that she'd see me next week when I came back to get my car registered.

I have to go back?

Technology: Friend or Foe?

It seems to be quite de rigueur to frown upon those who spend a great deal of time with technology. Studies indicate that "screen time" is bad for us. Considering how many screens we use on a daily basis, this should probably have me concerned. Computers, phones, iPods and MP3 players, games, video conversations, webinars, television and movies, and general online access to tasks formerly accomplished in other ways make it seem as though it would be impossible to avoid screen time to some extent.Statistics indicate that few of us are without televisions, phones, computers, or Netflix subscriptions. Two years ago, a major study indicated that 76% of all people in the US had a computer. But multiple sources are encouraging us to turn away from our devices. Go outside, get some fresh air. Exercise. Read (these sources seemingly having forgotten that much online work IS reading). Walk a dog (no one has indicated that it necessarily has to be your own dog). 

It's hard to imagine putting away my phone, computer, TV, or iPod, though I've done it before. Right now, these are my lifeline. I'm in a new city, geographically separated from those with whom I'm used to communicating on a regular basis. Having these devices at my fingertips has made the transition so much easier. Twenty or thirty years ago, when you moved away, you had to rely on letters and phone calls (and expensive ones, at that) to keep in touch. You had to change your bank accounts. You had to have a newspaper mailed if you wanted to keep up with news of your former home. You had to become familiar with new local television shows and radio stations. Drive around with a torn paper map and hope you remembered how to get to the grocery store. Have pictures of your new surroundings and activities printed and mailed. 

My technology has changed all those things completely. I not only can talk with friends and family as much as I want without much cost, I can see them in their pajamas on my computer screen while we chat. I'm emailing with friends so much that the distance between us seems minimal. I didn't have to make difficult decisions about what music to bring with me, because almost all my music is on my cute little pink iPod, and I can rock out to the same tunes I always have. I didn't have to change credit unions because I can do almost all my banking online, and so paying bills will continue to work the same way. (Oh, joy.) The navigation system on my phone has gotten me anywhere I wanted to go in my new city (turns out, I didn't need it to help me find Target...I have a personal radar for that). My Netflix subscription is easily portable, so I can continue my obsession with The Good Wife with nary an interruption. And, thanks to my parents, I now have a larger TV on which to watch it.  So the idea of not checking in on my computer, turning on the TV, or recharging my phone seem a little impossible at the moment.

I've rolled my eyes a bit when I hear people say things like "he's always on his computer." What does that mean? I don't understand.  Since you can do an incredibly number of things on your computer,  I can't see how that says much. I could be paying bills, watching a movie, emailing a friend, working from home, buying my hair conditioner at Amazon, clipping coupons for an upcoming trip to the grocery store, or making reservations. If I'm on my phone, I might be talking to someone, but I might be getting directions, checking the movie theater schedule, updating my calendar, taking or posting pictures, tracking calorie or exercise intake (okay, unlikely, but possible), or getting a weather report. I use my computer and phone to keep any variety of accounts up to date, get information before calling or visiting somewhere, and just take care of personal business. I've used my Netflix subscription for everything from movies and TV shows to documentaries about Antarctica and fitness program videos. I finished listening to the same audio books I began back in Chapel Hill. It seems a little unfair to view all of these as mindless entertainment.

That said, as comforting as I'm finding technology at the moment, I'll acknowledge that variety in life is not a bad thing. When some statistic or report indicates that you shouldn't spend all your time in front of a screen, well, isn't it true that you shouldn't spend all your time doing pretty much anything? Reading can be both entertainment and a learning tool, and you'll never find me not reading something, but should I spend ALL my time in front of a book (in any format?). Not that I haven't tried. Regular exercise is vital, but should you spend eight hours per day at the gym? Marriage is a special institution involving commitment to a single person, but does that mean you should never spend time alone or with other people? I love my cat, and probably vice versa, but if I stay home too long, I can practically hear her ask if I don't have somewhere else to be. Travel offers opportunities for developing new understandings of the world and other cultures, but it sure does feel good to go home, doesn't it? (In fairness, that might just be me.) Should you spend every weekend in front of a ball game? Or at the beach? Or with your grandmother? Or working on your house? Or in front of the computer? Some balance is in order here.

Twice, I've shut off my TV for a month, partially just to prove I could do it, but also to demonstrate that there were other things I enjoy doing. I'm in a new place, a perfect chance to start some new habits. I don't think I'll be turning off the TV, computer, or phone anytime soon. I'm extremely grateful to have these for keeping friends and family close and for making the transition from the familiar to the not-so-familiar a little easier. And I'm okay with some heavy technology use for a while. The trick will be to turn to other things as well. My new city has lots of activities and experiences to offer. I might see an ad about these offerings on TV. I can learn more about it on my computer. And my phone will help get me to it.